幽默的英语句子及翻译 第1篇
One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.
When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.
She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.
He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, _What happened here today?_
She again smiled and answered, _You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today._
_Yes,_ was his reply.
She answered, _Well, today, I didnt do it!_
一天，一个人下班回到家，发现屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子们还穿着睡衣，满身是泥地躺在外面。
打开房门，他发现屋子里面更乱。橱柜上堆着盘子，地上散落着狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后门旁还有一堆沙子。家庭娱乐室里堆满了玩具，还有一盏灯翻倒在地上。
他迈过散落在楼梯上的玩具，上楼去找他的妻子。他开始担心她生病了或是发生了什么可怕的事情。
他发现她还穿着睡衣躺在床上，在看一本杂志。
她抬头看到他，笑着问他今天过得怎么样。
他看着她，困惑地问：“今天发生什么事情了?”
她笑着问道：“你每天下班回家都会问我今天做什么了。”
“没错啊，”他说。
她说：“是这样的，今天，我没做什么!”
幽默的英语句子及翻译 第2篇
How Did You Ever Get Here
你是怎样来的?
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. _It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two._
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
The boss eyed him suspiciously. _Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?_
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”
_I finally gave up,_ he said, _and started for home._
“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”
幽默的英语句子及翻译 第3篇
One Side of the Case
一面之辞
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。
_I can't hear out of my left ear,_ the man told the judge.
“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。
_Can you hear out of your right ear?_ the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。
_You'll be allowed to serve on the jury,_ the judge declared. _We only listen to one side of the case at a time._
“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。
幽默的英语句子及翻译 第4篇
Early Shopper
采购过早
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. _What are you charged with?_ he asked.
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。
_Doing my christmas shopping early,_ replied the defendant.
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
_That's no offense,_ replied the judge, _How early were you doing this shopping?_
“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”
_Before the store opened,_ countered the prisoner.
在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。